fear is only as deep...

as the mind allows. Japanese Proverb

today was the end of 5 weeks. i can't believe i have stuck to this for the past 5 weeks, including 3 days on vacation in montana at 5000+ elevation. texas is about 500. it was a huge difference and a little defeating - because i felt like i couldn't even run 5 minutes without my lungs burning.

today we did one of the toughest things i have ever done, not just in this journey but in my whole life. i ran for 20 minutes straight. i don't think i have ever done that in my whole life. i had to stay focused, on my body, on my mind, on my goal to finish that run. i have a hard time being proud in myself. i like to succeed well. i am a little hard on myself that if i do it, i find things to be upset about still.

so 5 weeks down and a 20 min nonstop jog today. i did this...only me! i made that run happen, i kept my legs going, i didn't cry when it got hard, i stay focused and got through it and didn't fall on the ground. 3 more weeks to go! Wow!!

P.S. while in montana, i got 3 new colored bandanas! so now you get a rainbow of colors.

cute tuesday

first off a cute bulldog puppy...but a bulldog puppy in a swing! adorable! via my pinterest

Couch to 5K Day 8 - Week 4

week 4 - ugh, i dreaded today. we didn't run in the morning...so then we have to run at night. it would be all good if we lived somewhere where when the sun went down so did the temperature. i hate texas summers! plus today we were doing 3 min/90 sec walk/5 min/2.5 min. walk. 5 minutes might not seem like a whole lot of time when you are 1) watching your favorite movie or 2) driving to get food...but 5 minutes feels like an eternity the first and second time you have to jog it. my body wanted to stop so many times, it wanted to cry and walk home, it wanted to lay in the grass at the park and take a nap. but no, that wouldn't be good now, would it? i made it home, in 1 piece - minus the gallon of sweat i exerted while getting through 16 minutes of jogging.

if you are thinking about doing this...if i can do it anyone can. if you know me, i hate to run. i hate to run because after my 2 hip surgeries i stopped really trying to do exercise that might hurt my hip or knees. i wish i would have done this 10 years ago...but better late than never and live with regrets. so get off your computer and go for a walk or walk with a little jog. you can do it!!

Couch to 5K Day 7

today was a toughy, i had given platelets yesterday at Carter Blood Care. it kicked my butt yesterday and i was so sick for the rest of the day. so todays run was a struggle. the 2nd 90 second jog started the struggle. my legs got really heavy and i started getting a side cramp. after all the jogs, i got sick a little. i just think it was because of my platelet count and blood being a little thinner than usual.

i wish i can get past the negativity and fear that i won't be able to do it. i have to keep in mind that even though i feel like i am going to die...that i am really not. goodness - have you ever heard of anyone dying because of exercising?? that is just ridiculous!

the stress is a little less this week, i have 3 interviews and hopefully will have something lined up so i can go to montana next week.

so i am trying to find ideas for my blog. i have 'cute tuesdays', but that is the only scheduled item on the blog...is there anything else you would love to see??

cute tuesday

Can we say adorable?? via my pinterest

Couch to 5K Day 7 - Week 3

i was so anxious and nervous right from when i woke up this morning. i knew i would have a 3 minute jog and not sure if i would be able to make it or not. i have to remember to take it one step at a time and if i fail, then i try again - instead of trying to give up and talk myself out of things before i even attempt them. i made it through the first run with no issues and i almost started crying because i was able to do it without too much problems. it was the first time i have been truly proud of myself for sticking with this. today wasn't as hard as i thought it would be.

lately, i have been thinking about even running when i am bored - which is so unlike me. but i think the stress and worry about trying to find a job really is wearing on me. i have this week to find a job, if i don't - then i am not going to be able to go to montana for our family reunion and for my cousins' wedding next week. it makes me really really sad. i miss my family and need a break from this summer heat. i know i need to be responsible and not go if i don't get a job, but i always worry if i will regret not taking the time to spend with my family. i haven't seen my dad or sister since november and the rest of my family for 2 years. i miss the mountains and clean air :) wish me luck this week and i promise to bring back lovely pictures!!

Couch to 5K Day 6 - 2 weeks done

sorry, i forgot to blog last night. we didn't run in the morning, because we both didn't sleep too well, so we ran after dinner - which was a little different. we ran around 9 pm, since it was so hot yesterday and everyday during the texas summer.

i got some side cramps and felt frustrated at the end of the time. i am super scared about week 3 - we are supposed to do a 3 min jog. no pictures today of sweaty me...but the other day i saw this and now when ever i feel gross and hot i think about this.

Couch to 5K Day 5

day 5 proved to be the least difficult day. i tried to stay focused on how i run and how i breath. it feels like it is getting easier, but i worry everyday if i will either hurt myself or fall over.

i know i just need to stay focused, not have negative thoughts and push through the pain and frustration.

i don't know if you have ever watched extreme makeover, weight loss edition - but it is inspirational. if someone can lose 300 lbs in 1 year.

james from ft. worth quoted "until your life runs out of excuses, you aren't going to change" - i might have to put this up in my room so i see it everyday, because excuses are my nemesis!

hope everyone has a happy wednesday!

Cute Tuesday is back!!

this is one of the most adorable things i have ever seen!!

what have we been up to?

we have had a few busy months. i have been really bad about posting what is going on. so in the middle of may, i got my gallbladder out after 2+ years of not feeling good when I ate anything. my mom came from nevada to help take care of me. i had a few rough couple of weeks after my surgery, nothing would stay down.

then at the end of may, we went and toured the new cowboy stadium in arlington. this place is huge, the tv screen is huge and everything about it is spectacular.

then on june 4th, charlie's niece graduated from high school. we planned a little party and swimming.

cupcake toppers purchased from the digital chick via etsy

banner purchased from clkross via etsy

frames, paper lanterns, other decorations purchased from hobby lobby

that is it for now. i will come back with more from the last couple of weeks!

Couch to 5K Day 4

well after a nice long weekend hanging out at the pool and lazy rivering it up...we are back into the running.

once again, i started the run - got 3 runs into the 6 runs and had to turn back around to go to the bathroom. for some reason, my body doesn't like to go until i am the furthest away from the house. so then it is a 10 minute walk back and then we have to start all over again.

the last 2 runs were the most difficult. my legs felt 50 lbs each and 90 seconds felt like eternity. today is going to be a relaxing day at least.

we are getting a new fridge delivered this morning. it only cost us $40 after a gift card we had after we traded in a bunch of phones and other electronics that were just sitting around the house gathering dust.

i will take a pic and post it later today. also coming in a little bit is the activities we have been up to the last few weeks that were on my camera. so an "actual" post coming that doesn't have to do with running. i know you are excited...can you feel your excitement? cause i can!!

kai loves hugs...don't mind the boobage going on in this picture. sometimes a girl can't help them!

Couch to 5K Day 3

today was really rough. after 2 days with no a/c, the last thing i feel like doing running in the warm weather and sweating.

we started off our run and had to come back after the 2nd run, because duty called. lame! when that happens we have to start all over. so it turned into an almost hour walk/run.

on the 2nd to last run i thought i was going to pass out. my lungs were killing me and my body wanted to stop. on the last run, charlie challenged me to keep going after the 60 seconds. i pushed myself and had a hard time catching my breath, but did it and now i could totally take a shower and a nap...if the house was cool.

this weekend, well tomorrow is kaitlyn's 9th birthday. we are going to gaylord texan and stay the night and go to their new pool. she is very excited and so are we. this is the first time we have had kaitlyn on her actual birthday.

we are planning on waking her up at 12:00 am with pancakes and candles to wish her a happy birthday!

what do you do for your kids on their birthday?