Couch to 5K Day 2

day 2 - is a little better than day 1. we ran in the morning instead of 6 pm in the Texas heat. my legs are super sore, so it was a little rough starting off. the rest of the runs were ok, until run #5. it felt like my legs were 100 pounds a piece and i struggled to keep them at a running pace.

i think i am too tired to think of negative thoughts, considering we woke up at 5 am. i tried to just focus on my breathing instead of how my body was feeling. except that my pink running shorts are a little short for my chubby thighs and i had to keep pulling them down so my thighs would stop rubbing together.

i will be thankful of the day were i am not worried about people watching the fat girl run down the street...

our a/c went out last night, so coming into a warm house after being out in the warm morning doesn't help the cool down too much.

hopefully we can get someone out to the house today to make our house cold before tonight's bedtime. stupid texas weather with it crazy summer heat. days like these i wish i lived in montana.

Couch to 5K Day 1

well i decided to start the couch to 5K again with charlie. i was super hesitant to start this again. i am not feeling that well about myself right now. there is a lot of self negativity going on in my head and it is hard to stay focused on the good results.

i had high hopes of starting off today 5 min warmup, 60 second run, 90 second walk and repeat run and walk 8 times.

i got through my 2nd run and was starting to struggle, by the end of my 3rd i started to get the panic that my body couldn't do this. i started to cry and had to get through it in the 90 seconds of walking to start running again. all that was going through my head was, "i can't do this", "you are weak", "you are going to be fat and out of shape forever".

all i wanted to do was walk back home and cry, but charlie would not let me. he kept me going and saying positive things, even though i was saying negative things right back.

i threw up a little a couple of times, cried, thought i was going to pass out, my legs went a little numb.

when i got home i was drenched in sweat and just wanted water. now that i am done i am sore and know i will be tomorrow.

we are going to do this mon-wed-fri. i am really hoping to get through this 9 week journey and run a 5K at the end. i need this for myself because i give up on everything when it gets tough. i need to prove this to myself that i can do this.